pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
