That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
