i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
