You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
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