Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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