I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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