Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize