God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
