"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
