That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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