Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Vodka?
Forever.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize