hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
