Can i not drive my cunt home
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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