All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
