dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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