so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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