did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
FUCK WHALES
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
