Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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