Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i think i just lost a toe
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
