I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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