then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
