Whod you bang
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
