Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Randomize
