I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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