Me. At least after what I've been through.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
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it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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