i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
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Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
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Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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