Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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