do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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