drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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