I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
