I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
