do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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