Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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