batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
