4 words: hood of his car
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
