He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
