When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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