I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
