He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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