when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
