its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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