why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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