I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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