Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
