My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
