it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize