oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
