Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
