No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
