Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
