I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
