hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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