My Higher Power is John Stamos
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
