he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
