it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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