you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
