and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
