It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
