Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Are my feet made of real feet?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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