Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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