"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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