3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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